5 Skills Sets In Winning With People

Ever wonder how come someone else can connect so well with others but not you? This seemed to give them an unfair advantage when comes to things like appraisal or having a preferential treatment. This is because we as human tend to like people who like us. We tend to favour these people whom we can connect with.

We must understand that humans are irrational – we make decision based on our emotions instead on facts most of the time. Usually we fall in love with something first (emotions) then we will churn out plenty of reasons to justify it (facts).

So do you want to be a better people magnets? Let’s start!

1. The Ability to Connect

You will need to be open for communication, learn the important networking/people skills in order to kick-start any connection between you and others. The ability to connect allows you to build understanding, trust and relationship. Essential elements such as smile, eye contact and firm handshake to create a lasting impression are not to be missed. So remember, the next time when you are in a networking session, take these tools with you and use it wisely!

2. You Will Need Energy

Some people are just born to be a social butterfly that they seemed to be having an infinite amount of energy when it comes to meeting people and striking a conversation. As for introverts, things are tougher, you will first need energy to overcome your fear, thoughts, emotion what so ever before you can make the step to approach a person.

That being said, both extroverts and introverts still need energy to do research. You see, we are not born to know every single thing on earth. In order to strike a lasting and meaningful relationship with somebody, we will need to research on the person. What are their interest? If you know is golf, how much do you know about this sport? Go learn more about it so that you are able to strike a chord with him/her in the next conversation. This require effort and energy.

3. You Need to Show That You Care

People are not concern about how you feel, instead they need to know if you care about them, are you interested in them. You need to show to the people you want to connect that you genuinely care for them in our daily interaction with them. They could be having a hard time fighting their own battle in life, so be nice to them and they will reciprocate back to you.

4. Listen and Let Them do the Talking

Have you encountered a situation before when someone told you “Hey thanks man, we just had a great conversation, thanks for your advice and I feel much better now! ” and it get  you wondering what did you actually advised him/her when what you did is just keeping quiet all the way and allow him/her to do most of the talking!

Is kind of funny to learn that in order to have a great conversation and connection with someone, is to allow the person to do most of the talking instead of yourself. In order words, be a great listening ear to the person you wanted to connect with. Just by listening, you are already on your way to become a great conversationalist. However do remember to provide constant feedback to the person talking to you.

5. Value Add to Their Life

If you want to connect to that someone, make it an effort that you are going to value add in his/her life. It doesn’t have to be  something great, it could be just a word of affirmation (a supporter), a wisdom (a mentor) or your time (companion). I feel that the secret in lasting relationship is to create value for each other so that we can spur each other on for improvement and greater achievement.


Bear in mind the 5 skills sets mentioned and practise them, and you will see some improvements in the relationship you are having. People will slowly be drawn to you and your social circle will be expanded.

Simply put, make the people around you to enjoy every moments they spend with you. 🙂

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